What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
