they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
