you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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