do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
