I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
