do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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