it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
