So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
