Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
