i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
