The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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