Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I party with great urgency now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize