I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
