the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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