just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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