video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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