508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I forget how to act sober
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