My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
