SEEEEXXX PLEASE
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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