First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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