WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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