It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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