Moan for me like Helen Keller
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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