Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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