Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
