remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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