I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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