where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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