So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Boobs speak an international language.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
