My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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