you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
