I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
