I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
