in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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