Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
