I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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