I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
