they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
