so explain again why im purple
no
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
