dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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