So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
