And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
