You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Congratulations! We have a period
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
