Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize