It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
