my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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