What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
