WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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