she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
