It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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