Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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