You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
