the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
