her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so let's talk penis.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.