Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.

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(516): View more from New York

Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.

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(315): View more from New York

i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee

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(585): View more from New York

I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.

(1-585): View more from New York

I regret none of it.

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(425): View more from Washington

I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.

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