Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad

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  (718): Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad http://tfl.nu/ofwb
  Replies (40) Good night (5923) Bad night (757)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1306) Bad night (3878)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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  (781): I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave http://tfl.nu/vjg2
  Replies (33) Good night (10164) Bad night (1018)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.

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  (206): I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time. http://tfl.nu/0r8g
  Replies (16) Good night (2485) Bad night (3351)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra

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  (587): She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra http://tfl.nu/6lbp
  Replies (8) Good night (3043) Bad night (932)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?

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  (901): Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper? http://tfl.nu/q7x9
  Replies (17) Good night (4305) Bad night (792)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless

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  (774): Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless http://tfl.nu/p1o5
  Replies (4) Good night (1833) Bad night (653)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...

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  (229): He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother... http://tfl.nu/bv7d
  Replies (8) Good night (793) Bad night (2448)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

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  (248): I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home. http://tfl.nu/2kup
  Replies (1) Good night (1422) Bad night (470)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.

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  (778): She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/9heo
  Replies (12) Good night (1849) Bad night (524)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.

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  (850): I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25. http://tfl.nu/pimr
  Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (352)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

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  (202): I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right? http://tfl.nu/xedt
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (333)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.

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  (917): Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/mn53
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (249)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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  (770): His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis http://tfl.nu/4skm
  Replies (6) Good night (503) Bad night (417)
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  (323): View more from California

  My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.

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  (323): My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job. http://tfl.nu/hsg6
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (108)

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