We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize