too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
