i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
