my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
