did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
