Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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