Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
