dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize