Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
