I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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