I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
