Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
