so that wasnt chicken after all
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
