I CAN MOONWALK!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
