do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
