weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
